Lost in the Parade

I had a dream last night that my whole family was watching a parade in Orem on the corner of State and 800 North where that gas station used to be. All my extended family was there and I was watching so intently that I soon realized my family was gone. I guess Rhett had taken the boys up the street to the other part of the celebration, wherever that was. My mom and my aunt Jeanine and my uncle Mark and my grandma and all my brothers and their kids and everyone had already left, too. So I started to walk but soon found I was lost. I didn't know where to go and people were passing me, walking quickly with intent and going all different directions....

I always dream about being lost, not sure where to go, literally manifesting my feelings of inadequacy and being lost in real life. This was another one of those dreams.

But the difference about this dream is...I'm walking and frantically looking around for where I'm supposed to go and suddenly I see my Grandpa Pulham walking toward me, beautiful silver hair and walking strong in his plaid shirt and work jeans. He takes my hand in his, rough but soft, completely covering my own small hand with his large experienced one and says he knows the way. So we walk there together...

And then I wake up. My Grandpa Pulham died two days before Brenden was born, over four years ago. And now I have spent part of the morning crying as I understand the meaning of this dream, thinking of how I know he is still with me, whenever I need him, helping and guiding me when I feel lost, which is a lot of the time lately...