Liberatin'

liberate (li-b∂-rāt) v. - to set free; release from control

My best friend, Frita Wilson, once told me that some people were born chicken. "Ain't nothing gonna make them brave," she said. "But others, they just need a little liberatin'." Least, that's how Frita told it.
-The Liberation of Gabriel King

Halloween is a time when some people love to go to Haunted Houses, watch scary movies or do anything else that will get a rush of fear in them. I hate being scared. I hate all of those things that other people love to do around this time. Hate. But I love to read aloud this book to my students because it is a great children's novel about facing your fears and is fun around Halloween time to think about things that scare you. I think some suspense is invigorating and exciting, but pure horror, terror or fear-inducing activities are absolutely not my thing. I personally, seriously think they can be evil. Evil, I tell you!

The Liberation of Gabriel King is a sweet book about two friends in Georgia in 1976 who spend a summer trying to face their fears. Gabe's list of fears is about three times as long as Frita's and has things on it like alligators, the local bully, riding his bike on the highway, Frita's basement, centipedes and most of all the fifth grade. Frita's list is shorter, but since she is the only black child attending a white school, she may have the hardest fears to overcome. I have cried, so embarrassingly, both times I have read it aloud. It is such a fabulous book and a quick read. Frita helps to liberate Gabriel from being a chicken and they run into all kinds of adventures.

So, of course, this idea of facing fears makes me think of my own fears. How can I be liberated from them? Dunno, but sometimes just sharing them helps. So I have tagged myself and am now tagging anyone who is reading this to post their own fears, just for Halloween fun. Don't get too carried away, especially if some things REALLY freak you out just talking about them.

1. spiders (Arachnephobia) - yes, this is an easy one because most people are scared of those freaky eight legs gliding across the floor, but when I lived in Colorado, someone got bit by a Brown Reclouse and there ended up being a huge crater where they were bit. They actually showed a picture of it in the paper or on tv or something. I was only ten at the time, but I have never forgotten that image and now see every spider ever created as a brown reclouse, out to kill me. Do a google search if you don't believe me. You will see the terrifying destruction to your flesh if you get bit.

2. murderers and rapists - every since I have become a momma, I hear every single creak, moan, breath and bump in the night. In the middle of the night, in the dark, all of these sounds are murderers or rapists out to get me and I find it very difficult to sleep without Rhett there, because, of course, I won't get murdered or raped if Rhett is there, right? I also find that a large fan, noisy humidifier or air purifying unit help to mask all of those sounds. I sleep fabulously as long as there is white noise.

3. heights (Acrophobia) - I didn't think this was a problem for me until I went up the rickety carnival slide steps to take Cam down the slide. I looked down and suddenly my stomach was in my throat. I even get a little panicked holding the baby close to the top of the stairs in my house. Which leads me to my next fear...

4. one of my children (especially the helpless baby) falling out of a window or a balcony or anything high - I would sometimes imagine it happening when Cameron was first born as I realized how helpless and tiny he was. I'm not as psychotic about it now, but I still think about it happening sometimes.

5. burying one of my kids or my husband (Thanatophobia) - I just don't want to be alive without them. If they have to die, I just pray that I will die with them. I have had dreams about it and the pain I feel is so intense that I can only imagine how it would feel in real life. I would add that I'm afraid to fly here, but really, its just the death that scares me so its basically the same thing.

6. some dogs - I know this is kind of silly, but after being bit by a friend's dog (PAUL!), I have always been leery around dogs. Maybe not seriously afraid, but nervous.

7. freaky clowns or maybe any - this is again from when I was little and was stupid enough to watch that clown movie, IT. Never again.

8. any scary movie - such as Don't Wake the Children or whatever, the Ring and especially a cheesy 70's movie that I watched when I was 14 - the Dark Night of the Scarecrow. The scariest part of this movie leads me to another fear...

9. freaky eyes or people looking in the window - the Dark Night of the Scarecrow was this cheesy movie about an adult with autism or some disability who's only friend in the whole racist hick town is a little six year old girl. The little girl gets killed accidentally and he goes to tell people what happened but he's too scared and can't talk very well and so they think he did it. He runs home to his momma who tells him that he has to play the "hiding game." The town mob comes with pitchforks and shotguns and bloodhounds looking for him. The dogs run to the fields and find him hiding in the scarecrow clothes, pretending to be the scarecrow hooked to a pole. The camera pans to his face, covered in a potato sack with jagged holes cut for eyes and that image of his freaky eyes, scared and confused and angry, will forever haunt me. I see eyes in windows and freak out even in normal circumstances when only people's eyes are showing. Yes, it seriously scares me. But don't be like Rhett and constantly try to scare me by just standing in a window frame with your face inches from the glass, eyes wide and whole body still. He takes advantage of my fear to get a good laugh. A creepy face in a window or scary eyes freak me out more than anything - either the real thing or just the thought of it.

BTW, they shoot the guy in the scarecrow clothes and the rest of the movie is him coming back from the dead and seeking his revenge on those who killed him. Don't watch it.

10. And then, there is the long list of personality flaws that scare me even more than all of these things sometimes, but I won't get into those. I just hope I have enough time to change and improve, before a spider bites me and in my pain, I trip over a dog which causes me to fall out of a window in a tall building, and on the way down, see a freaky clown's eyes staring out the window at me. Ok, I tried too hard on that one, but it was too tempting not to.

TAG! YOU'RE IT!!

PS Check out this website for a full, fun list of all kinds of weird fears.
http://www.angelsghosts.com/state_of_fear.html
Xanthophobia, seriously?
Some of my students have had Phronemophobia or Metrophobia or Hypegiaphobia.
And I guess I am a little Coprastasophobic (see an older post) - couldn't find "a fear of turning 30."